Relationship Help - Finding Lasting Love

May 19, 2009 | By admin In Love Relationship Problems |

by Johnnie S Laney

Ah, to be truly in love. Oh, what a feeling! Movies and songs are
made about it. We all are led to believe that there is one true love
out there and we won't be truly happy until we find it.

So we look hard and finally find someone and it feels great. But only
for a while. The first six months or so. During this period we love
everything about them. We feel totally in love. We feel like we have
found our true love.

But then time passes and this feeling of true love fades. And this is
a problem for all of us. We thought we found our true love and it
felt so great but then little things start bothering us like the way
they leave the toothpaste cap on or off. We also notice that where in
the beginning we wanted to spend all our time with them now we want
some time to ourselves. Is this bad? What happened to our true love?

No, we haven't lost true love. It just changes, and it will change
for all of us! Psychologists have found that relationships occur in
phases. The first initial period of a relationship is called the
"oceanic love" period. This is when we are totally merged. We love
everything about them. It is marvelous!

But all good things come to an end, and research says that after six
months or thereabouts we begin to move into the me-us phase. We start
to separate some. We want our own space or feel hurt by our mate
wanting theirs. We begin to have a few conflicts. We feel the need
to have our own friends or work on our own interests and goals some.
This is normal.

If we didn't move apart some, we wouldn't be able to function well in
the world. We'd be a merged mess with our partner, trying to get all
our happiness from each other, which doesn't work long term. We each
have to move on with our lives separately and as a couple, we have to
take our journeys.

So if you want to keep true love in your life, understand this: Don't
give up on love because you move out of the oceanic love phase. Love
is bigger than that. Physical attraction is just one part that will
rise and fall. True love means learning to love the whole person, the
parts you think are good and the parts you don't like so much.

And understand that conflict will occur even with true love. Two
healthy adults will pull in separate directions from time to time.
True love includes conflict and working things out when they get a
little uncomfortable, not running away. You don't get to keep true
love until you learn it is bigger than just the fun times.

About the Author: You can learn much more about these things in the
free course 7 Vital Intimacy Insights You Never Learned In School at
How To Have The Relationship You Want [1]. Johnnie S Laney teaches
relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more
here Love Relationship Advice Help [2].

Links:
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[1] http://fix-relationship-problems.com
[2] http://4RelationshipAdviceHelp.com