Lessons I?ve learned from those Women who dumped me

by Toby Hardwick

Yes I agree that I?ve been dumped, more than once actually. While it
hurt me each time it happened I admit that I learned a lot from all
those experiences. Here are some truths that I realized from women who
have dumped me.

Things I?ve learned from Women Who have Dumped Me #1: It takes two.

Most of the times with the pain in a breakup, it is very easy to blame
the other person for everything. But the truth lies in accepting that
you had a part to play if the relationship is not working any more.
Take proper care and learn from those experiences so that you can
avoid such things in future relationships.

Things I?ve learned from Women Who have Dumped Me #2: most women need
their personal space.

Women like to cuddle and snuggle. They may seem to always be around.
But they need their personal space too. Men have a tendency to be
possessive. We want to keep tabs on where they?re going and what
they?re doing there. If any woman has ever cheated on you, this
instinct becomes stronger. But, trust is a key component in a
relationship. When you invade her personal space, you send the message
that you don?t trust your girlfriend. This can easily lead to the end
of the relationship.

Things I?ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #3: You get stronger
over time.

When you wake up in the morning and the hurt?s so real, you may
believe that you will never get over the break up. But the truth is
that not only does time heal all pain, but you will emerge from the
break up a stronger person. As philosopher Frederick Nietzsche said,
?that which doesn?t kill me only makes me stronger.?

Things I?ve learned from Women Who have Dumped Me #4: Take it if it
wasn?t meant to be

Coming to accept that a relationship wasn?t meant to be is a key
factor in healing. If you had started projecting your relationship
into the future ? considering marriage, thinking about children ? and
then the woman you were with broke everything off, consider it a
blessing. It is better to end a relationship that wasn?t meant to be
earlier rather than later.

Things I?ve learned from Women Who have Dumped Me #5: Good things
don?t happen unless you make them happen.

Finally, the last lesson I want to share with you is that you can?t
control what happened, but you can control to how you react to what
happened. If you want good things to happen in the future, you have to
make them happen.

It?s something like getting back on to the horse. Go out on dates.
Have fun. Enjoy with your friends. Go out with new women. You would
probably find a new relationship in them. You may eventually find the
relationship that was meant for you to hold on for life!

About the Author: Toby Hardwick is the author of this article. His
relationship [1] advice site has more advice for your problems at
relationship diy [2].

Links:
——
[1] http://relationshipdiy.com
[2] http://relationshipdiy.com

http://www.articlejunktion.com/2009/05/lessons-ive-learned-from-those-women-who-dumped-me/

Moving on After a Break Up

by Toby Hardwick

It is very difficult to get out of a breakup and move on. It is not
easy unless you are really very glad to get out of the relationship. A
breakup can change your whole life. Everything and every even in your
life reminds you of your ex, and cause a lot of pain. Particularly if
you have some mutual friends, it?s more difficult to even go out with
them.

Some of the greatest hurdles you?ll have to cross before moving on
with your new life are your family and friends. If your family knows
about your ex and you are going to grow tired of their enquiries about
the situation. You must take time to explain them that it?s over and
you are planning to move on. You make it clear that it was a painful
breakup and you don?t appreciate being reminded of it often.

For the family, it might seem difficult because they might want to get
the person back to you so that both of you can be happy again. You can
just tell them as a matter of fact? It?s all over and it?s time to
move on that?s it.? They would probably understand, after all they are
your family and they love you. It might become harder to deal with
when it comes to friends.

If you didn?t have many mutual friends, then it should be less of a
problem. But if the two of you often hung out with the same group of
people, then you going alone to be with those friends is going to seem
strange to everyone for a while. And then there?s the problem of your
ex wanting to hang out with the friends, too. You might even run into
each other as you each attempt to hang out with your mutual friends.
This doesn?t mean that it?s necessary when you?re moving on break up
with your friends. It?s just simply going to be more difficult to
maintain some of those friendships once the relationship is over.

As difficult as it seems, when you say, ?Moving on, break up is
history,? you may have to give up some of those friendships. You and
your ex may each have to keep in touch with only certain friends in
your group of mutual friends. Just try to maintain good contact and
relationships with those you?re closest to and allow your ex to do the
same with the others. While this can be painful, it?s probably easiest
on everyone because they don?t have to choose which of you to be loyal
to and which to avoid.

Most of the times, this is a very difficult period when you are
surrounded by mutual friends and sometimes the places you must go
together. If the time allows, it?s better to go on a vacation and keep
yourself away from all the places that remind you of your ex. You can
probably take the vacation with a friend who is not involved in the
situation, may be someone who is not a mutual friend. If you can put
in some effort, it?s possible to get over the breakup.

About the Author: Need some relationship diy [1]? It's the great
way of helping you to help yourself. Toby Hardwick know exactly how
hard a relationship [2] can be to fix, but he know all the ways to
solve the problems now, he's helped thousands of people.

Links:
——
[1] http://relationshipdiy.com
[2] http://relationshipdiy.com

http://www.articlejunktion.com/2009/05/moving-on-after-a-break-up/

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

by Toby Hardwick

Have you come across the 7 ways that help you build up trust in your
relationship? Often in a relationship, the things we think first won't
work. For example, you are wrong if you feel you need to spice up
things to make them work for you. In a relationship, predictability
comes much before variety. Given are the 7 golden tips you can use to
build up the bonds of trust in your relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be
predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to
"stir things up" to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new
restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we
need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our
relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on
being reliable day in and day out.

Secondly, you must make sure both your body language and your words
match. You must be able to convey your message convincingly and
reliably. Your partner is not going to believe you if you say you are
happy with a frowning expression on your face. Generally people see
your expressions as well as your words before counting on you. Your
partner should be able to trust you and the trust comes when the words
match your message.

Third, you need to have faith in your partner's competency. This is
very important to build up trust. If you don't have the kind of faith,
you don't actually have the trust needed in a relationship. Remember,
truth is never destructive if lovingly communicated. If you do not
believe the competency of your partner in anything, you are violating
the trust in a relationship.

Fourth, secrets always destroy faith in a relationship. Keep no
secrets from your partner. You need enormous energy to keep secrets
and this energy could better go into your relationship. Be honest and
believe that everything you know is going to come out someday or the
other.

Fifth, don't be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are.
Don' t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay
to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are
reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite
direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs,
that is a good thing. But you don't need to say yes to everything. A
partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be
subjugated to the other person's will actually builds trust in a
relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by
digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can
sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for
future growth. Don't be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These
become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is
difficult.

It is common to encounter pain when you want to work out trusting
relationship. Only when you can get through this pain, do you get a
chance to enhance yourself as a better partner.

About the Author: Relationship [1] problems are no problem for the
author, Toby Hardwick. He has years of experience in helping people
solve their problems and his website is relationship diy [2].

Links:
——
[1] http://relationshipdiy.com
[2] http://relationshipdiy.com

http://www.articlejunktion.com/2009/05/7-ways-to-build-trust-in-a-relationship/

I Lost Love ? Every Relationship Has a Time Line

by Toby Hardwick

When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord
Tennyson?s quote, ?Tis better to have loved and lost than never to
have loved at all.? When I lost love, I felt the whole world had
collapsed around me. I?m sharing my story in order to help you if you
too have lost the love of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a
natural lifespan. In Junior High, that?s about four days. As we get
older, the lifespan increases. But, there are certain relationships
that are right for a period of time and then go awry. Most of us will
only have one great love in our lives. The other relationships will
terminate. That?s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this
is a natural process.

I n my case, we were actually getting closer and my girl friend was
planning to move into my apartment. Her lease was ending and it made
perfect sense in the sense financial perspective as well as we were
spending most of the time together in my place.

I know I lost my love because the relationship was coming hard on me.
I couldn?t handle the situation and I wasn't ready to get more
committed. And then I knew that the life of this relationship has come
to an end. She took the relationship to such a level that it became
too hard for me to handle. There is a significance of living
separately.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend?s
bachelor party and let?s just say things got out of hand. Word about
the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and
she dumped me. I lost love over the events of one night.

I know I wouldn't have behaved that way if I ever welcomed her to move
in. when I brood over the past, I understand I was in no way ready to
take her and the events of the bachelor party were a result of my
retention to more commitment. I couldn't see it head in the way I
never anticipated.

I?m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex. But I
don?t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate. Instead, she
was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I loved her.
I still love her. But, she is not the person with whom I see spending
the rest of my life.

That period of mourning and brooding, analyzing and repenting didn't
even leave me. I was hurt. I know even I hurt her, but I never wanted
her to leave me totally out of her life. It was hard to take when she
wanted to wind up the relationship but I know nothing could be done
and the damage is far from mending.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were.
But, every relationship has to grow or die. Because I wasn?t willing
to let it grow, it had to die. In every relationship, there is a time
to die. And, for me, this was it. That?s how I lost love.

About the Author: Got a relationship [1] problem? Toby Hardwick
wrote this article to help you. He can help you with more
relationship diy [2] solutions at his website. Visit now.

Links:
——
[1] http://relationshipdiy.com
[2] http://relationshipdiy.com

http://www.articlejunktion.com/2009/05/i-lost-love-every-relationship-has-a-time-line-2/

4 Easy Steps to get back your Ex

by Toby Hardwick

In almost everyone's life, break is a common encounter. As in the
philosophy of life, getting to experience things often makes you used
to them. As you get used to them, things generally get easier. But
breakup is an exception. You certainly don't feel it easy to take no
matter how many you experience.

In many breakups, unless the relationship was truly terrible, many
people actually long to get back to their ex. Sometimes even if it was
an unhealthy relationship, people tend to feel so. But if the
relationship was so unhealthy that physical or verbal harassment was
going on, then you consider yourself lucky about the breakup.

Most of the breakups actually follow a predictable pattern. When you
first meet each other, you find everything great and wonderful.
Nothing seems to be a matter for both, but as the relationship grows,
slowly things start to work differently. Comforts set in and the
couple starts adjusting to the circumstances. As the comforts set in,
with the newness gone, things begin to change. The same little things
which you were willing to ignore before now start bothering you.

There is an expression: "Familiarity breeds contempt." Truer words
couldn't be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable
and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly
what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort
to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of
getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship
completely

Do you know that some things can still help you fix the relationship
even after a clear "No No" from your ex? Here are four steps that may
come handy when saving a relationship.

1.Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods.
Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step.
Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it
can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two
people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to
apologize for is critical.

Most of the times an apology may lead to another heated argument. Be
patient and keep your emotion in check in such cases. If your partner
gets up another issue when you say a sorry, make sure you don't get
defensive, or lose your temper.

2. Sit down and talk things out

If your partner is fine with it, take time to sit and talk calmly
about the matter. Remember it's no time to get into another fight now.
Make it clear to your partner that you don't intend to get into hot
words. Never resort to pleading, begging, crying or anything as such
and also don't force your partner into this. It's time to clear up
things so make sure you make your effort to clear things up.

Be objective about the issues you plan to speak. If you try to keep
your talk focused onto getting positive results, you are more likely
to end up in a patch up. It would be great if you can take the help of
an expert or a therapist to get your differences on right track.

3.Give some space

This may seem difficult. Just because you wish to see them doesn't
mean they feel so. I brief period of staying away from each other
would aid both of you to cool down and probable make them miss you.
It's important to allow your ex some space. If you keep in contact
with them, they would not have a chance to miss you. If they miss you
it would be easier to get them back. The brief period of staying away
even helps you to come closer.

4. Make them understand that you care about yourself

There is no use waiting for your ex to call you or looking at the
mailbox for a mail from your ex. Lamenting over the loss and showing
those that you are crippled without them would not help you get back
your ex. Make them feel you could come out of it and are able to lead
a normal life. Spend time with friends, go to movies, hang out in the
malls and most importantly try to make your life as normal as
possible.

It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be
wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and its
your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best
thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them
you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This will
probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you
again.

About the Author: Heartache is never nice, a relationship [1]
problem can be hell. Let the author, Toby Hardwick help you with
your problems, visit his website at relationship diy [2].

Links:
——
[1] http://relationshipdiy.com
[2] http://relationshipdiy.com

http://www.articlejunktion.com/2009/05/4-easy-steps-to-get-back-your-ex/