Here is my marriage advice to all couples: If you want to strengthen your marriage or relationship:

Watch your mouth!

Marriage help: It’s all about the words we choose

There’s an old Bee Gees song that says, “It’s only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away.” When you and your spouse/partner were first dating, you probably used your words wisely in an effort to win over your mate’s heart. If you did, you must have been mindful of the power of your words-you suddenly became a wordsmith, highly attuned to how your words made your partner smile and laugh and want to hold you tight.

Do you still choose your words wisely while communicating with your partner?

Essential Communication Rules for a Stronger Marriage

Rule 1: Your words have power.

Rule 2: Each and every day you have thousands of words to choose from while communicating with your spouse/partner. So the words that come out of your mouth are only a thin slice of the overall word pie that’s available to you.

Rule 3: The words you select have a profound impact on your marriage or relationship (and on your own experience). Your words are continuously impacting your relationship (even if you’re unaware of it). 

Rule 4: Your words are a reflection of what you’re thinking and feeling and your choice of words also shape your experiences.

Rule 5: As your marriage or relationship matures, you might plan less and blurt more. Because you’re not trying to woo your mate any longer, you will probably forget how mindful you used to be when you spoke. Odds are, you’ll start to say whatever comes to mind (expressing your feelings in their rawest form) and not really think about how those words might impact your spouse/partner.

Bring mindfulness back to your communications

“My experience is what I agree to attend to.” ~ William James

This famous quote highlights the selective nature of reality. With regards to a marriage or relationship, some people decide to attend to and focus on the missteps that happened during the day, while others choose to attend to the interactions that showed effort, good intention, and a willingness to move forward. The challenge is to do this even when it feels like the negatives are outweighing the positives.

What you attend to is also reflected in the words you use to describe your spouse/partner (to yourself and others), the feedback you give him/her, and how you speak to your mate in general.

To help you become more mindful of your words and the power they hold in your relationship (and in your life), let’s look at a few different categories that your words can be placed into.

I. Connecting Words (words that enhance intimacy):

~Words that validate and affirm;

~Words that support;

~Words that inform and educate;

~Words that heal (yes, words have the power to heal, just ask any therapist about this).

II. Disconnecting Words (words that undermine intimacy):

~Words that wound and hurt;

~Words that judge;

~Words that minimize and invalidate;

~Words that prioritize the negatives.

So you have the power to use connecting or disconnecting words at any given moment in time, in every interaction that occurs between the two of you. While this can sound daunting, it can also be very empowering.

Action Step:

For a week straight, use only connecting words-no matter what words your spouse/partner (and others in your life) chooses to use. 

The goal is to stick to your conviction and remain mindful of what comes out of your mouth, even during times of stress. And if you slip up here or there, be kind to yourself (watch the words you direct at yourself!) and bring yourself back to the goal of mindful communication.

About the Author

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Visit Relationship Toolbox Newsletter and sign up for Dr. Nicastro’s FREE Newsletter.

As a bonus you will receive the popular free reports: “The four mindsets that can topple your relationship” and “Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue before your arguments control you.”

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Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and relationship coach with fifteen years experience helping individuals and couples live more fulfilling lives. His relationship advice has appeared on television, radio and national magazines.

Article Source: Content for Reprint

True Love Advice - Expressing Love

by Johnnie S Laney

We all can relate to true love in a private way, as just an inner
emotion. We can also try to keep it safe by keeping it inside, hiding
it from the object of our love. It can feel vulnerable and risky to
show it openly to the object of our affection.

However, what if you related to your true love like a beacon or
lighthouse? A light or radiance to be shined and spread as often as
you could? Something to be given fully rather than held inside, to
light the world around us? An emotion best turned into as many
loving acts as possible?

What you may find is that love expressed and given freely is
replenished easily. It is not something that needs to be kept inside
and kept safe. When you feel true love, give it away, express it, act
on it, and dont be attached to what you get back.

True love is best replenished by expressing it into direct action. If
you are fortunate enough to feel some true love, find ways to express
it directly. Show it off, shine it's light into your world.

What are some of the actions that can express true love? There are
so many. Listening to your mate like your life depends on it. Giving
the gift of truly listening to another is a definite expression of
deep love. Turning off our own thoughts and focusing deeply on what
another thinks and says is a generous, unselfish act that makes the
other person feel important and nurtured.

Another great way to express true love is looking. Yes, looking!
Look them right in the eye, drink them in while conversing. Direct
eye connection is a powerful acknowledgment. Research has shown that
simple direct eye contact diminishes over time in relationships.
Don't let that happen. Show your true love with this simple practice!

And then of course a powerful expression of true love is touch. Not
just sexual touch, but outside the bedroom. Just brushing their arm,
giving hugs, these are direct expressions of affection that touch the
heart easily.

Theres a lot more to expressing love, but listening, looking and
touching are always a good foundation. Dont keep the light of your
love under a bushel basket. Take it off and let it shine as often as
you can, and see what a difference in makes in your " and our " world.

About the Author: You can discover more in the free course 7 Vital
True Love Insights Your Mamma Never Taught You at Keeping True Love
Alive [1]. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional
intelligence courses and you can get more here True Love Help [2].

Links:
——
[1] http://4trueloveadvice.com
[2] http://4trueloveadvice.com/True_Love_Advice_Keys_To_Intimacy.html

http://www.articlejunktion.com/2009/06/true-love-advice-expressing-love/

Need Some Breaking Up Advice ?

by Cheryl Pierce

If you have spent any time grazing the net for relationship problem
advice, you've likely run into plenty that was just plain impractical.
Thoughts like taking your sweetie for a weekend get-away or cooking a
homemade epicurean meal plausibly do work great, but not everybody can
do those things. What is worse, they miss the point. A capital
relationship is founded on how close you are with each other, not how
much you spend. Fortunately, though, there are a lot of ways you can
initiate improving your relationship that don't require a lot of time,
money, or talent.

Respect one another

This is 1 bit of advice in love relationship you can live by. It
sounds so uncomplicated. If you love someone, you naturally treat them
with kindness and value, right? Well, that's commonly true when you
only see that person occasionally, but when you live with each other,
it's simple to forget.

The remedy? Pick someone you deeply respect, whether it's your
grandmother or your favorite professor, and don't say or do anything
to your mate you wouldn't say or do to that person. If you screw up
(we all do it), do the right thing and apologize. Remember, sometimes
just one uncaring argument can end a relationship.

Back Up each other

Have you ever felt exited about some swell idea you had and rushed off
to share it with a close friend only to have that friend act ho-hum or
even worse, start putting you down? Well, don't do the equivalent to
your better half. When your partner shares their goals and pipe dreams
with you, try to at least say something positive even if you don't
like the thought.

After that, it's fine to point out major faults in a design, but do it
gently and constructively. Something like, "So you wish to become a
teacher, huh? I bet you'd be great at it, but instructors don't make
much, do they?" is thoughtful, yet brings up an important point.

Once they have determined to take the plunge and try for a major
achievement, though, your support or lack thereof could make or fail
the relationship.

Learn to let go

When your mate does something you find irritating, think twice before
you convey it to their attention. Is it something they can easily vary
or would it require a major personality overhaul? If in all honestly,
you can't see your partner changing without years of nagging, you have
the option to either put up or break up (or peck for years, if you're
into that kind of thing). Once you opt to miss it, don't bring it up
even during a debate.

Think Back, this kind of acceptance and permissiveness is often one of
the things elderly married mates cite as a rationality for their
success.

Whether you're yet in that dizzy, falling-in-love stage or you've been
married for ages, there are some things about relationships that never
change. Honor, support, and a little allowance are just a few of those
things. The finest advice in love relationship help you bring more of
that mindset into the way you deal with your truelove.

About the Author: Are you sick and tired of feeling bad? Then DO
something about it. Learn everything you need to know about Saving a
Relationship [1] by visiting our self help website: Relationship
Depression [2]

Links:
——
[1] http://www.how-to-save-a-relationship.info
[2] http://www.how-to-save-a-relationship.info/magic-of-making-up.html

http://www.articlejunktion.com/2009/06/need-some-breaking-up-advice/

Real-World Advice in Love Relationship - Relationship Self Help

by Cheryl Pierce

If you have spent any time grazing the net for relationship problem
advice, you've likely run into plenty that was just plain impractical.
Thoughts like taking your sweetie for a weekend get-away or cooking a
homemade epicurean meal plausibly do work great, but not everybody can
do those things. What is worse, they miss the point. A capital
relationship is founded on how close you are with each other, not how
much you spend. Fortunately, though, there are a lot of ways you can
initiate improving your relationship that don't require a lot of time,
money, or talent.

Prize each other

This is one piece of advice in love relationship you can swear by. It
sounds so simple. If you love someone, you naturally treat them with
kindness and deference, right? Well, that's commonly true when you
only see that person now and then, but when you reside with each
other, it's simple to forget.

The curative? Pick someone you profoundly respect, whether it's your
grandma or your favorite professor, and don't say or do anything to
your mate you wouldn't say or do to that person. If you slip up (we
all do it), do the correct thing and apologize. Remember, sometimes
just one thoughtless statement can end a relationship.

Back Up each other

Have you ever been exited about some great idea you had and rushed off
to share it with a close acquaintance only to have that friend act
ho-hum or worse, start tearing you down? Well, don't do the same to
your partner. When your partner shares their goals and dreamings with
you, try to at least say something positive even if you don't like the
idea.

After that, it's fine to point out major faults in a design, but do it
gently and constructively. Something like, "So you wish to become a
teacher, huh? I bet you'd be great at it, but instructors don't make
much, do they?" is thoughtful, yet brings up an important point.

Once they've resolved to take the plunge and try for a major
achievement, though, your support or lack thereof could make or fail
the relationship.

Learn to let go

When your mate does something you find bothersome, think doubly before
you impart it to their attention. Is it something they can easily
change or would it require a major personality overhaul? If in all
honestly, you can't see your mate shifting without years of nagging,
you have the choice to either put up or break up (or scold for years,
if you're into that kind of thing). Once you choose to ignore it,
don't take it up even during an argument.

Think Back, this kind of acceptance and permissiveness is often one of
the things elderly married mates cite as a rationality for their
success.

Whether you're yet in that silly, falling-in-love point or you've been
married for years, there are some matters about relationships that
never switch. Respect, support, and a little margin are just a few of
those things. The best advice in love relationship help you bring more
of that mentality into the way you deal with your truelove.

About the Author: Are you sick and tired of feeling bad? Then DO
something about it. Learn everything you need to know about Saving a
Relationship [1] by visiting our self help website: Relationship
Depression [2]

Links:
——
[1] http://www.how-to-save-a-relationship.info
[2] http://www.how-to-save-a-relationship.info/magic-of-making-up.html

http://www.articlejunktion.com/2009/06/real-world-advice-in-love-relationship-relationship-self-help/

Real-World Breaking up Advice

by Cheryl Pierce

If you have spent any time grazing the net for relationship problem
advice, you've likely run into plenty that was just plain impractical.
Thoughts like taking your sweetie for a weekend get-away or cooking a
homemade epicurean meal plausibly do work great, but not everybody can
do those things. What is worse, they miss the point. A capital
relationship is founded on how close you are with each other, not how
much you spend. Fortunately, though, there are a lot of ways you can
initiate improving your relationship that don't require a lot of time,
money, or talent.

Honour one another

This is 1 bit of advice in love relationship you can live by. It
sounds so uncomplicated. If you love someone, you naturally treat them
with kindness and value, right? Well, that's commonly true when you
only see that person occasionally, but when you live with each other,
it's simple to forget.

The remedy? Pick someone you deeply respect, whether it's your
grandmother or your favorite professor, and don't say or do anything
to your mate you wouldn't say or do to that person. If you screw up
(we all do it), do the right thing and apologize. Remember, sometimes
just one uncaring argument can end a relationship.

Support each other

Have you ever felt exited about some swell idea you had and rushed off
to share it with a close friend only to have that friend act ho-hum or
even worse, start putting you down? Well, don't do the equivalent to
your better half. When your partner shares their goals and pipe dreams
with you, try to at least say something positive even if you don't
like the thought.

After that, it's hunky-dory to spot out major blemishes in a plan, but
do it softly and constructively. Something like, "So you want to
become a teacher, huh? I bet you'd be outstanding at it, but teachers
don't earn much, do they?" is thoughtful, yet brings up a significant
point.

Once they've resolved to take the plunge and try for a major
achievement, though, your support or lack thereof could make or fail
the relationship.

Learn to let go

When your collaborator does something you find annoying, think twice
before you impart it to their attention. Is it something they can
easily switch or would it require a major personality overhaul? If in
all honestly, you can't see your mate changing without years of
nagging, you have the option to either put up or break up (or nag for
years, if you are into that kind of thing). When you opt to miss it,
don't bring it up even during an argument.

Think Back, this kind of acceptance and permissiveness is often one of
the things older married mates cite as a reason for their success.

Whether you're yet in that giddy, falling-in-love stage or you've been
married for years, there are some matters about relationships that
never change. Value, support, and a little allowance are just a few of
those things. The safest advice in love relationship help you bring
more of that outlook into the way you deal with your truelove.

About the Author: Are you sick and tired of feeling bad? Then DO
something about it. Learn everything you need to know about Saving a
Relationship [1] by visiting our self help website: Relationship
Rescue [2]

Links:
——
[1] http://www.how-to-save-a-relationship.info
[2] http://www.how-to-save-a-relationship.info/magic-of-making-up.html

http://www.articlejunktion.com/2009/06/real-world-breaking-up-advice/